Friday, December 30, 2011



You are too beautiful

too smart

too independent!

You love the Lord too much

You are too sober

You laugh too loud

Your heart is too big


What are you saying?!?

Are you kidding me!?!

These are my best qualities

My best traits...

This is how I survived

Beat the odds

Overcame adversity.

This made me who I am!

And for this

You put me down

Discard me

Dismiss me.

These are your excuses!

Sorry I can’t fit

What you think of women

Sorry I don’t fit

The ideal.

But I will not


For being me.

You don’t deserve me!

I deserve more

To be loved for

The beautiful


Woman I have become.


I won’t apologize!


Monday, December 26, 2011

MIKE~(to My true love...R.I.P. 10/16/60-06/14/10, Laura)

I have an angel now, as my guide.
I call him Mike, he is at my side.
Never again do I have to fear,
He walks with me, ever near.
He folds me in his angelic wings,
He whispers in my ears and sings.
Never again shall I be alone.
He holds my hand and leads me home.
Gently he is with me, he teaches me peace.
Unconditional love that will never cease.
All the days of my life, he'll be in my heart.
Never again, shall we be apart.
He's waiting for me, he'll meet me in the end.
My newest angel and my very best friend.
Happiness, he is showing me the way.
We'll be together again...somewhere, someday...

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Graveyard Tree(Random thoughts from the middle of a graveyard)

I don't know if it was planted when you were buried but it seems that way. The tree stands beside your stone twisting and turning, maybe in resemblance to your life. Maybe you were adventurous, always taking different roads. The branches grew up and out embracing your stone as if to protect you. Growing toward the sky praying to God that you would be saved.
Destructive people have desecrated the other gravestones by breaking them and shoving them over. But your tree has made that impossible. It has enveloped you like a mother protecting her new born baby. Your tree has, through the years, grown to protect you as you rest.
Or maybe your tree represents something else entirely different. The possibility that you had been searching for some stability in your life. For some one to shelter you when a gale force was blowing or to shade you from the scorching sun. For some one who would extend their arms and offer you comfort. This tree may be giving you the one thing you had searched for your whole life, security. And now, finally, in the peace of death your tree has fulfilled that desire by offering you eternal security.
You may be thinking that I am writing in an altered state of mind. I can assure you that I am stone cold sober. I was sitting in this grave yard pondering the mysteries of death. I then started to ponder my own death.
When I die I want people to smile remembering happy times we shared. I know some would have a difficult time doing that. My life has been an endless road map. I have been a restless wanderer with a gypsy spirit. There will be those that have loved me all my life despite my disappearing acts. I hope they realize that for one moment, although brief, I had returned that love. But the road I travelled and the path I chose could not include them. When I felt I could stay there was always a sudden detour, a jerk of the wheel, that sent me in a totally different direction. And inadvertently left them standing there wondering what went wrong.
I cannot explain why I was like that. It was just that I had hopes and dreams. I wanted to go some where, become famous. But I will always remain a memory to them. Recalled with a thought, a laugh, or a sad smile.
Then there will be those who hear a name or catch a glimpse of a face and experience deja vu, although they won't remember why. It will be those people that for one brief second our paths had crossed. People who I had been there for in a moment of need and when they turned to find me I was gone. They will never quite remember who they are seeking to recall. I never gave them the chance to get acquainted with me.
I just hope by the time my end is upon me there will be one soul who truly got to know me. Or else I will feel as if I had lived my life in vain. Just one person who can recall a few years of happy memories. Some one who is able to say, "It was good to have shared my time with her". Some one that I will regret leaving behind. Some one who has loved me deeply and for a time I actually returned that love.
So my pondering of death has led me not to lose sight of the things that are important in life. To not defend my heart tooth and nail. To open up a little and let some one in before it is too late. I have known desperate lonliness enough to know that I do not wish to die alone.
These are the random thoughts that ramble around in my mind as I take my long walks through empty and forgotten grave yards. Rest in Peace my friends...until we meet again.
***This was written some time ago in a graveyard in Goshen, NY and due to my failing memory I cannot recall the year.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

My Daddy, My Hero: A poem for my father who passed away March 24, 2009

To all who knew him,
my father was a great man.
Back to the city,
where his life began.
To his golden years in the country,
he lived a full life.
He loved his family, his children and
his beautiful wife.
Now hot tears burn down our faces
and the pain is unreal,
He has slipped these earthly bonds
and pain is not his to feel.
He's earned his wings,
so now, he can fly.
He begs us to smile,
Please do not cry,
He is reunited with his heavenly
family, where he belongs.
See the pearly gates and
hear the angels' songs.

Original poem by, LauraSue Gutierrez

Friday, December 16, 2011


I have been writing poetry since I was nine years old. My poetry is in essence, my diary. My thoughts come out in rhyme(most of the time). All these feelings that I had built up in me, filled my soul and poured out in ink onto paper. I have found a great site, my life is once again changing. My lifelong dream of finally getting published is being filled at this moment. There are beautiful souls on this site who are very supportive. I would like you to join me on my journey. Please be patient with me, blogging and websites are all new to me. I have lived the life of a poor and starving artist. Before this journey began, I was extremely old-fashioned...All my poems were in a binder, hand written. I will share all my emotion and an occasional poem or two...Welcome to all who stop and visit!!! At this moment this is all very surreal to me...I feel as if I am in a dream state. I am more excited than I could possible express in words!

Thursday, December 15, 2011


Silently, as the tear drops fall,
You hear her calling down the hall.
You wish she would come back to you.
She is gone and you don’t know what to do.

Your days were joyous and free.
So joyous, you could not see.
You did not see the pain in her eyes,
Or the coming of the stormy skies.

When darkness filled your heart,
You realized her love was tearing you apart.
The storm had finally reached your love.
There was no mercy coming in from above.

So you hear her walking down the hall,
Silently, as the tear drops fall…